Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
They took my balls.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
