I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
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