Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
kristin has been a bad kristin
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
When did angry sex become our thing?
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
