Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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