just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
