omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
