Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
