Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
This is classic penis vs brain.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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