I'm so fucking centered right now
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize
