she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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