So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
