what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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