I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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