If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
