Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize
