they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
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