I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Randomize