If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
