Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i just had sex bonerless
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
