I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I can't turn off my feet"
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
