You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
