It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
