omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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