Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
FUCK WHALES
Randomize
