We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
