Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
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