Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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