Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
