Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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