Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
