Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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