I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
