My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
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