i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
My liver is preforming stress tests.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
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