But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
