I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
