: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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