why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
