I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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