Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
