i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Randomize
