dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I am one with the molecules
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
