Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
she woke up with a sticky ear
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
