The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Randomize
