I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I just want to make out with him forever
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
