Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
