I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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