census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
