I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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