I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize
