I only kidnapped one of them. chill
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
