so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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